Hikes and Heart--Sterling Bridge Blog Tour

My first comment has to be an apology/explanation.  Apparently, my brain went through a convoluted series of mistakes in which I was supposed to review this book next Wednesday, not Tuesday.  Don't ask me how this happened, but this is also how I confused my roommate by claiming my hair appointment tomorrow is on the 18th.  7 days before my next big trip, my brain is starved for intelligence.

Anyway, here we go!  A little while ago, I was asked to review this book and knowing that it was a sports story, I gave it a shot.  After all, I am a huge fan of Miracle at Fenway, 42, A League of Their Own, Fever Pitch...  Basically, if you give me a good sports story, make it true and write it well, I'll be a puddle of emotions by the end of it.

Emphasis on "write it well."  I can't stand flimsy characters that I can't relate to or care about.  I have little patience for sports that expect me to know the playbook.  I need a good ending.

So, with those yo-yoing standards, where do I fall on the subject of Sterling Bridge?  Somewhere between Remember the Titans and 42.  It is a fantastic period piece.  I am not familiar with the area or the sport.  I periodically stopped and looked up things like European national boundaries in the 1920's or the history of the text of the Pledge of Allegiance.  (I found a factual error.  He had the students recite the text as found in 1954.)  I laughed in delight when he fictionalized Loren C. Dunn, the first president of the Boston Temple.

It was a multicultural story, both in the telling of life stories of Yugoslav and Polish and half a dozen other heritages in a small mining town, and a town segregated by religion.  There are 42-esque scenarios of people getting a black eye for calling another person a wop, the locals complain about the ferriners (and it took me a while to figure out that it was a Utah pronunciation of foreigner) and a local priest confesses that he thinks the Mormons refer to his flock as the "Catholic impostors."  But the binding force as in so many sports stories was the common goal.

Sterling Harris is clearly the ultimate hero of the book, but I found myself absolutely devastated when my favorite character died young.  I won't watch BYU football because I find it boring, but I read the play-by-play of the state championships eagerly.  I even possibly brought shame upon myself in my grandfather's eyes when I hoped that Tooele would win against his alma mater.

Do you have to be a football fan to like this?  Absolutely not.  Do you have to be religious?  No, you will still appreciate the cultural heritage of people embracing their religion and the struggles of multiple characters with faith.  Can you get excited over games that happened 80 years ago?  Good grief, yes.

Buy it here

Blog tour: Stephen Zimmer guest posts!

Note:  I'm excited to have another person give advice on this blog!  He addresses a writing style that reminds me of Pratchett and Bujold, so I admire it already!  Also, check out a new Writing Wednesday post on www.kakiolsenbooks.com later tonight. 

The Character Franchise Versus a Series: The Writer's Challenge

Heart of a Lion is the first book of the Dark Sun Dawn trilogy, featuring the sword and axe-wielding heroine Rayden Valkyrie.  The trilogy, though, is not the totality of the story of Rayden Valkyrie.  The Dark Sun Dawn trilogy is a story arc that is going to be part of a developing collection of short stories, other multi-novel story arcs, and perhaps even tales that can be stand-alone novels, all of which will feature Rayden.

To date, I have a pair of active series that have been progressing, the epic fantasy Fires in Eden series, which has three books out of a planned seven now available, and the Rising Dawn Saga, which has four books of a planned seven now available.  At this stage of my path, I do understand what's involved in writing a dedicated series, and that's why the Rayden Valkyrie stories, and the Dark Sun Dawn trilogy, represented new ground to me as a writer.

To illustrate what I am getting at, I will cite the short story where she makes her debut as well as Heart of a Lion, the first novel featuring her.  “All the Lands, Nowhere a Home”, which is contained in the sword and sorcery anthology Thunder on the Battlefield: Sword, marks the first appearance of Rayden Valkyrie.  The story in it is going to be continued, but it is set at a time in Rayden's life different than that portrayed in Heart of a Lion.  And that's what I'm getting at here.

A series develops in a sequential manner, while a character-based franchise, such as Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian tales, can unfold in a very non-linear manner.  One story or book could take place in a hero or heroine's more advance years, with the next taking place in their youth, and another taking place somewhere in-between.

This presents a unique kind of writing challenge, as a person evolves and grows over the course of their lifetime.  The stories have to reflect where they are at, on their path, and requires the author to have a full command of that character's history, very thoroughly, in order to maintain the right mode of that character and the references contained in the story.

Additionally, the author has a little challenge in selecting what stories to tell as everything unfolds.  For me, “All the Lands, Nowhwere a Home” serves as a good introduction to the Rayden Valkyrie character, while Heart of a Lion broadens and deepens the reader's experience of Rayden.

The story arc in the Dark Sun Dawn Trilogy, when it is complete, will definitely leave the reader with the core of who Rayden is and what she is about.  For me, in developing her story and growing her body of work, that is the best place to start the path.

After the completion of the Dark Sun Dawn Trilogy I will have to focus on what is next, as far as stand-alone novels or multi-book story arcs.  By then I may have some more Rayden Valkyries short stories, which will also involve their own decisions as far as the overall timeline and which stories to tell.

Whether short story or novel, I will have to determine what story is most important to tell at the time and what will be the best next step in revealing the overall Rayden Valkyrie story.  I don't know whether that will entail her early years, her middle years, or her later years, but I can say it will offer the reader something that will broaden their relationship with the Rayden Valkyrie character.

Nevertheless, life is determined by a heartbeat, and my telling of Rayden's story unfolds at the heart, in Heart of a Lion.  Much more to come, and much more to tell.  Stay tuned!

One moment in time--Emma Parker's "Papa's Book of Mormon Christmas"

“Have you heard the story about the book that saved Christmas?” Papa asked.

Every couple of months, my roommate and I act like seven-year-olds.  It was her idea years ago to visit the 4th Floor Juvenile Literature section of BYU's Harold B. Lee Library and read picture books all afternoon and it was my notion to do it again.  We occasionally read old favorites--I started that first day with The Polar Express and predictably cried at the ending and she recently read Horton Hears a Who in Spanish.  I've discovered new favorites, like T-Rex at Swan Lake and Science Verse (which has a very unconventional rewrite of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.")  We've also done this all over Utah.

Anyway, all of that introduction leads up to today's book.  I tell you that story because it's one that I wish I  had discovered on one of our picture book Saturdays.

If you look at the "Written by," some of you will recognize the name from my stories about getting my book published.  Hint:  Her bio mentions her being an acquisitions editor.  (Since she is the one who famously told me I had a word count problem, the first thing I looked for was whether or not this broke 100,000.)  But after roughly six months of working out the best things to do for my manuscript, I know the sorts of things that she likes and some of her philosophies on plot and pacing, so I sort of geared myself up to see how well those translated into a bedtime story.

Do I have any complaints about this book?  Well, yes.  Not what you think, thoiugh.  It has nothing to do with the story, the POV, the subject matter, the dialogue...  Actually, all of those are delightful.  I have a problem (predictably) with the length.  I want this to be a full-length novel in which the powerful anecdote that is related from Papa to Alice is explored and given context.  I want to know if this is based on a true story.  I especially want to know the rest of the story because Papa tells about looking for lost soldiers on a Civil War-era Christmas, but doesn't actually say what the result of that quest was.  He says that it turned out to be a pretty good Christmas, but the rest is left up to the imagination.

To borrow an example from one of my favorite movies, think of Up.  Imagine if what we saw of the Ellie/Carl love story was contained in the scrapbook.  We would look at some of those adventures and wish fervently that we could have the rest of the story (as we do in the wonderful montage).  

Given that this is a picture book, I definitely understand the need to keep this story encapsulated, but I feel like I'm looking at a scrapbook with Alice and Papa, so I selfishly want a feature-length motion picture rather than a snapshot.  This is high praise, in case you were wondering.

One of the best things about this story is the realism of the characters.  When originally reading it, I thought "Wow, there is a lot of the story devoted to the behavior of the little girl."  Then I remembered trying to read books with my nephews and how everything is dependent not on the length of the book, but the current fixation of the audience.  (Richard Scarry books can take an hour if you're reading with a car-obsessed four-year-old, for example.)  So when they have to halt the story because Alice is fascinated by the aspects of winter, I absolutely believe that this is how it would be if any wise older person told a story to a child of a certain age.

Emma's site

Where to buy this

The One Who Walks Behind the Truck Stop: Brick Marlin's "Shadow Out of the Sky"

There are many books out there that give me mixed feelings. This is one of them. Back in 10th grade, I read a round-robin discussion called "In Pursuit of Pure Horror" and it's set the standard for my interpretation of fear ever since. I feel like Brick Marlin took his cues from the same tome. The story itself is an interesting premise. One night, in the small town of Hampshire, the lights go out and hell breaks loose. The perpetrators of ghastly and cold-blooded crimes are the children of the town. But it is not because they are willfully evil. It is because they are under the thrall of a supernatural power. And they are, quite literally, unstoppable. I'm going to break this into two sections. If you're looking for a review of the book's story, read this next part and stop before the next section. If you want the nitty-gritty perspective of an author, finish the post.

  What went well

 I like this premise for a number of reasons: 1) The lack of free agency is something that that has caused terror for millennia. We see it in the Bible, where evil spirits are cast out. We recognize it in the zombie legend, where the corpse is controlled by dark magic and enslaved forever. We even find it in Harry Potter, where subjecting someone to your will can be an imprisonable offense. 2) Children are supposed to be sacrosanct. They are the protected, the ones that adults die to save. 3) There is no reasoning with the nature of this evil. Several of the children continue mauling their fellow citizens while faceless or headless. They have a mission and cannot be restrained. I think that I would like to read other books by this writer if he could find a good copyeditor or spell-check because he does have interesting ideas and some funny moments.

  Where it went to hell

 That said, this is not my favorite book. It does for rednecks what Children of the Corn did for blondes. Granted, since this is Podunk, USA, they all have accents, but the dialogue was inconsistent. The education level of a character often changed in the course of a single paragraph.

 All the men were sexist and all of the women were nags. This black-and-white representation bothered me almost as much as the frequent typos and grammatical errors. The author sometimes punctuated with numerals and mistook 'em for 'im. Because all of the characters were inherently offensive to me, I wasn't sure who I wanted to die. He also started the story by introducing a supernatural element described by Dean and referencing Sam. I facepalmed on the behalf of the Supernatural fandom.

 Brick brings up a character named Martha. I picture her as Betty White and she is pretty awesome. But her main function is to be the Good-Book-readin' Christian widow who sees this as the end of times. She goes to bed reading from the Revelation of St. John the Divine and wakes up in her personal Armageddon. She says frequently and vehemently that this whole thing is out of Revelations and "LUCIFER HIMSELF!" But nothing about this other than the Greek interpretation of the title--Apocalypse--has any resemblance to the book that she's faithfully remembering. I kept scratching my head and wondering "How?"

 The two things that bothered me had to do with backstory. 1) He introduced Kabul, who seems to be a pied piper origin story, and throws in a couple of scenes with him. They don't sufficiently explain the driving force of this massacre. 2) One of my favorite character arcs is that of "Uncle Barry." We know from the story that he is a pedophiliac clown who would promise children toys if they came home with him. When the children go on the rampage, he is punished and taunted by those he murdered. Another woman is depicted praying for the soul of her deceased child, who died through no fault of hers from pneumonia at a young age. The child returns to her and murders her for that crime. The four ring-leading children are known as The Reckoning and they are exacting justice under the direction of evil. This is short-changed in the story.

  In Short

 This is an interesting premise damaged by an outline form. If the stories were told as an anthology, rather than being expected to keep a cohesive story arc, they would have been much more effective. I wanted more of Kabul and his efforts. I wanted examples of other Reckoning actions. I wanted to go read fanfic of both things for the vast, untapped potential. Thanks to Brick for letting me read!

Who Rules the World?--Rebecca Greenwood's "Scripture Princesses"

 Hey, friends.  I'm back for another blog tour because I enjoy them so much!  Rebecca and I go back a ways, since we were in the same ward before she got married and she was in Sing 4 Something the year that I got to choreograph and direct part of the show.  (The poor girl played a pirate, beautiful maiden, sailor AND Japanese bride in the course of a few songs.)  She's also been my unofficial spy at Cedar Fort, telling me in February that one editor had read my book and it was going to the next person, letting me know that my editor hadn't gotten back to me because of vacation and telling me that she'd just gotten the e-mail at work announcing my book.  When I had to set up my author site, they referred me to her.  So she's a very cool person and an author/illustrator as well.  

What is Scripture Princesses?  

Back in the '80's, I grew up with a Children's Bible, which put the Bible into comic form.  I loved that little red tome, with its amazing pictures of the Red Sea and leprosy.  I also loved how memorable it made the unfamiliar.  'm fond of Rebecca's book in a similar way.  She has chosen over a dozen women from the scriptures, told their stories in an engaging and accessible way and illustrated each one beautifully.  (The above graphic is an example of this style.  Each one has a slogan/exhortation to remind us in one sentence what the take-away could be.)

Rebecca was nice enough to let me do a Q&A with this one, so here we go!  Afterwards, I hope you'll stop by http://rebeccajgreenwood.com/category/books/ for more information.  They have coloring pages (I'm printing out my tiara later today!) and links to where you can buy the book.  Enjoy this look into the book for now and thanks for reading!

1)  You have great examples of Scripture Princesses and each chapter starts with an exhortation.  Who are some of your Scripture Princes and could you give us an example of the exhortations you’d give for them? 

A few: 

Go and do, like Nephi

Be an instrument in the hands of God, like Gideon

Be wise but harmless, like Ammon (who was actually a prince!) 

Be like Jesus. (The Prince of Peace) 

2)  I plan to share these stories with my extended family and I only have one niece so far. How do you think I can use these stories to teach my nephews to respect women?

 I believe that women and girls deserve to have books and media–stories–that are created solely for them. When I wrote Scripture Princesses, I made all decisions based on “Is it accurate to the scriptures? Could it appeal to girls? Does it appeal to me?” I did not consider whether it would appeal to boys. 

That said, they are welcome to read it! I hope it could help them realize there is another side to every story, one with a different mind-set and world view, but just as alive and vital as their own. We were created as two sexes for a reason, and God wants us to love each other, work together, and try to understand each other. Reading stories that are in the point of view and written for the opposite sex is a great way to learn empathy. 

3)  Did you ever consider doing a version of this that only focused on the Bible or on all of the standard works? 

I considered breaking it up, but I wanted each woman in my book to have a name. For the Bible, New Testament and Old Testament, that was easy. But there are only three named women in Book of Mormon: Sariah, Abish, and the harlot Isabelle. (Eve and Mary are also named, but their stories aren’t there). I decided I did need to cram them all into one book. 

4) Did you pick all of the Princesses yourself or did you have input from others?

I chose them.

5)  Are there any Princesses that were cut from the list for one reason or another?

The story that really inspired me to start writing this book was the maid servant of Morianton from Alma 50:30-31. I turned to her story while sitting in the chapel of the Provo temple. Reading it, I felt that, yes, I should pursue creating a book of stories of women from the scriptures for girls, both to tell the women’s stories, and show girls the difference they can make. Before, I had just been toying with the idea.

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/alma/50.30-31?lang=eng#29

The name of Morianton’s maid isn’t given, and her story is a little harsh, so I didn’t include her in the book. Her story would probably be better told with a full fictional treatment, where she can be given a name and a happy ending to go with her bravery.

 6)  If you were to write a similar book based solely on historical figures, who would you include? 

Joan of Arc 

The real Pocahontas

Laura Ingalls Wilder…

I think I would enjoy more doing one of women’s stories from early church history.  I would need to deal with polygamy, however, so it would probably be better to have an older target audience for that project.

Moving Day

Greetings!  This is your official notice that I am taking my writing adventures to my new site.  I will put travelogs and book reviews here.

Why?  Well, on June 24, I got an e-mail with a book contract.  One of the parts of the contract required that I set up an author site.  I am going to be at kakiolsenbooks.com for the foreseeable future.

Thanks for the few who once in a while read this.  Come visit me at the new site!

The Waiting Game

So, I got my new phone, since the old one died a horrible and abrupt death.  That means that this Wednesday, I'll be posting a proper review of "Enslaved to Saved."  Look forward to that.

In the meantime, according to day.to, it has been 16.12 hours since May 21, when I sent in my 99K manuscript to the editor and got a "The word count is perfect" back.  She then said she'd let me know within a few weeks.  So I'm currently obsessively checking my e-mail during the weekdays.  In the meantime, I posted my anticipation on Facebook, which lead to insider information.  The same friend who works there (and told me on Valentine's Day that one editor had liked it and I needed a second editor to get on board) IMed me to say "You haven't heard because she's been on vacation for a week."  I love my friend.  I really do.  

I also (injudiciously) got more active on Twitter recently.  The publisher shared a link to an article about the recent death of L. Tom Perry.  I commented on it. Then I saw a post about doughnuts and got into a lively debate about whether it's dialectically correct for me to insist on them being donuts because that's what they call them at Dunkin' on every other street corner and subway station in Boston.  Now I'm friends with a sportswriter who was my sparring partner.  The point of this story is that I kept getting e-mail notifications saying they were from the publisher and kept having trouble breathing.  Then I remembered that they were just replies or retweets of my commentaries.

Long story short, I've got the song "God, I hope I get it!  I hope I get it!" from A Chorus Line stuck in my head and I wonder when on earth I will hear back.